Communication!
The minute you start compromising for the sake of massaging somebody's ego, that's it, game over.
How many of us on a daily basis struggle to communicate effectively? Compromising in life can be a good thing. Negotiating business deals with coworkers, compromising the curfew with our family because of an important event, how about bargaining at a sale for the best deal that suits both parties?
There is a Big difference in “settling” on a situation because you just want it to be over, and being passive aggressive, passive or aggressive communication.
Telling someone what they want to hear is total bull honkey. (southern term).
Why?
Both parties end up losing.
Are you the one who has made a poor choice and is looking for validation loses because they are getting away with no consequences? Or, are you the other party who is mad about the situation and are going to suffer from resentment that builds up, which then ends up being taken out on someone who doesn't deserve the blow up waiting to happen.
SO...
How do we go about assertive, sane and productive communication?
Honesty, caring, open mind and willingness to LISTEN.
So many times we listen to react; respond; and retaliate.
How many people are walking around today in confusion as to why a relationship went sour, why they lost a job, or why they can’t keep friends or family around?
Could it be because of a poor attitude, ego, irrational thoughts, or assumptions ?
All of the above usually lead to poor choices in our behavior. And.. Holy Goats when we sprinkle some mood altering substances on top! What a Recipe for Destruction!
When our communication style is assertive our life changes.
Really. It will change your life!
No more assuming with those around you. No more wishing you would have said something. No more not knowing. If you want something, someone or to be somewhere then if its where you are supposed to be, do and see it will happen!
Test yourself.
Give yourself the gift of 21 days with assertive communication.
Now, that may just mean having to keep your mouth shut more. I know for us that like to have the final word, well, that may be a little difficult.
Maybe stock up on gum and gooey candy for these days, that will help in keeping your mouth full of other than just hot air.
Thoroughly clean your ears.
Purchase a journal and write down not only what you say for the day, but your thoughts too.
Know that when we think it, it can and more than likely will come up and out.
Do not beat yourself up.
If you reach out to someone and they do not respond, look at it as God’s way of protecting you from what will hurt.
Just because I became sober doesn't mean the daily rainbow is shining on me in all that I do.
No, what it does mean is that if a rainbow happens to appear you can and will enjoy it with a clear vision with your eyes.
Eventually you will come to a point where it won't be just about you and the rainbow.
It will be about loved ones; friends; aquaintances and colleagues in your life and understanding that life has no promises except for those moments we inhale and exhale.
It means that getting along won't be about a fake front for others but a united front to offer those who are in your life!
Worrying about others is wasting your time and theirs..
Leave that important task to a Higher Power of your understanding!
Examine, re-examine and re-re-examine why you are where you are.
Know that we are all human and make mistakes and the great thing about mistakes is that they can be corrected.
Understand that some mistakes even though corrected may close doors in our life to those that we love.
Hard, very hard to swallow.
Also…if you are wanting to speak to someone about a relationship, write it all down.
Hurts, hang-ups, chaos etc.
Request a meeting of the minds to get everything out so it may be worked through.
You see, assertive communication can open the door to healthy relationships no matter the confusion in which they are in.
Misunderstandings because people don't communicate has caused much grief to many, many people, including myself that is how I am able to write about something so close to my heart.
Just know in the end that you can be the most honest, genuine, loving, sincere and caring person and there will be people out there that can not believe in you because they have no clue how to love and believe in themselves.
To sincerely love others we are to love ourself 1st.
A wise young man, rest his soul told me July 4th 2013 that we are to be selfish inwardly so that we may be selfless outwardly.
Whatever your struggle may be whether it drugs, alcohol, sex, food, gambling or money you can still change and be the person that a God of your understanding created.
Communication, Healthy communication is an amazing thing!
DO IT FOR YOU!!!
Get God, Get Sober and Get Moving!
May the angels above surround you all with hugs, kisses and lots of love. Amy C. #2025
