In Recovery, we are always Remodeling….
The mantle of manipulation in my active addiction was for sure a huge remodeling job.
The song below resonated who I was in my active addiction,
“It’s me, HI I'm the problem, it's ME. At teatime, everybody agrees ….”(Taylor Swift Lyrics Anti Hero)
When I work with others, I usually share with them the analogy of my parents' mantle.
I tell clients all the time that the mantle in my parents' living room held all my “Oscar Trophies” for my master performances of manipulations to get what I wanted, when I wanted and laid out how they should help me get whatever it was that I wanted…The Master Plan that benefited Moi.
Does this sound familiar?
Now, embarking on 13 years in recovery, I MOST always RECOGNIZE those performances before they even start and while I do have a few times where I am able to perform with my ACT, I am able STOP and REEL it back, or recognize midstream in the process as I have that gut push of uneasiness, which I call “my conscious”.
As you can see in the below pictures the mantle is getting a new surface, and the ladder gave me access to remove the dusty trophies.
What comes with active addiction and alcoholism is “Manipulation 101” and learned conniving behaviors too.
Manipulation is a learned behavior from childhood that is used to get what we want and even need. Our needs were not just physical. Childhood needs are also emotional and mental.
Ceasing the abuse of substances and self medicating are one of the first steps on your Pursuit of Recovery.
Lots of work on the drawing board ahead for healing what kept us sick in the first place.
8 years into my own Pursuit of Recovery, I felt like I was starting over and I had come to realize I had just been surviving..
I had not given myself permission to actually Thrive, Until…Yes, I started more therapy! My reconstruction needed some more “change orders”.
After making some life changing choices, I found yet another whole onion to start peeling back. I was able to engage with a therapist for my own inner child work and became better!
As my life continues moving forward I realize unless I am committed to this healing journey of applying the knowledge I have and am receiving, I would deny myself the growth that I deserve.
We all deserve healing and growth!
More progress below!
Yes, we all deserve to get better.
Yes, we are human and will make mistakes.
Yes, self work is not easy, but so worth it.
Yes, Recovery is not just about surviving, it is all about Thriving!
No matter what point you are at in your life, give yourself permission to remodel the mantle.
Give yourself permission to Pursue your Recovery.
Give yourself permission to accept and give Love beginning with self.
Give yourself permission to say Yes, I am ready to Thrive in my life.
Give yourself permission to look in the mirror and Change.
You no longer have to be the Problem, and You can live in the Solution!
Today can be your day to start construction of the new mantle.
Take down the character defects, take down the shame, blame and guilt. Take down the people pleasing; ego and behaviors that caused the overload and clutter in your life.
Replace your mantle with new solutions; a recovery lifestyle; counseling; coaching; recovery meetings; sponsor; healthy family and friends; and self love.
We are here to help with your remodeling and reconstruction of self!! We are here to HEAR and HELP with a new beginning and clean slate.
(See the “clean slate” mantle below, it’s ready to add the GOOD!)
We are ALL a work in Progress!
Do not hesitate to reach out, IF you are ready for a NEW surface and NEW Slate in Recovery!
-Amy C.
